A clear day

13 09 2010

It has been a very long time… and perhaps I can’t claim my blog title any longer. I only made it to mid-May. But I learned a lot along the way. Mostly – that I can take more control of my life and what I do with my days. I was determined to spend more time with my kids over the summer. Less work, less exercise. A financial and physical setback, but one that was essential to my feeling like a good mom. And I am proud to say I did that.

And if I learned anything from my half-marathon journey it was to cater to my desires for improvement. Otherwise, I spend so much time feeling guilty and apologizing to those around me. I have given up on the idea of balance — that I could possibly answer all client demands and deadlines, give my family the attention they need AND tune into my health. There may not be a day when all three happen. The balance can’t be measured in days — but in longer periods… weeks seem more realistic at the moment. Maybe months are better…

I had a great summer playing with my kids and appreciating the freedom to have days with them. I squeezed work in — and lots of active days walking the dog, riding bikes, etc. Just nothing I would count as true exercise worthy of recording in my blog or training log.

My kids have been in school now for exactly a month, and I have been heads down working… and working… and working… still not running.

Today I have some clarity. I met with my diabetes doc for my regular 3-month check-in. My A1c level (that measures blood sugar over 3 months) and my weight are EXACTLY the same as 6 months ago — March, when I was running A TON!

But wow – I don’t feel as great as I did then. And this skort is feeling a little tight in the wrong places… I miss the clarity and sweat and pride that came with running and heading toward a goal.

So, in the last hour from my new laptop at a coffee shop I resigned from a board I’ve been sitting on for four years, and I passed off a small client that was eating precious time.

My great friend and roommate in Atlanta and I used to joke that in our simpler lives either boys were good and work was bad or work was good and boys were bad. That was all we had to focus on, and – even then – we could only be REALLY good at one thing at a time.

Now — with a job, kids, just one boy!, and their daily demands, I can only expect myself to succeed at one thing at a time. So less pressure for exercising SO much and trying to do it all.

Today there is clarity. Tomorrow… maybe a run!




One response

15 09 2010

Eloquently stated – as always. Welcome back!

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